someone get that fucking seahorse.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We have started to decorate penises.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
