And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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