he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
