put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
