I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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