we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
