I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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