I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
