Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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