worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
