Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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