I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
