All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish you could order shots online.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
