I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
