Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
