if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Two words: blizzard sex
They have beer where we have blood.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
