We're like a lot better than the average bears
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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