I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
