He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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