She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
