I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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