The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
