I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
