No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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