If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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