It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
