I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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