god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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