I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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