when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
