okay pat passed out under dana's car
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
