Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
