I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize