No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And then my night got REAL pukey
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
