I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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