So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
