So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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