just tell him i said nine months
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
