my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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