I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Still dying that you shit outside
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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