i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
