CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Four minutes until I can fart!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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