dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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