you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
