im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize