how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
