Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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