Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
