I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
do herpes really smell.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
