Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
