Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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