Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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