Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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