My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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