You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
